diff --git a/mesh/connection_maker.go b/mesh/connection_maker.go
index d38f94c4..d1adcac8 100644
--- a/mesh/connection_maker.go
+++ b/mesh/connection_maker.go
@@ -32,6 +32,7 @@ const (
 	TargetWaiting    TargetState = iota // we are waiting to connect there
 	TargetAttempting                    // we are attempting to connect there
 	TargetConnected                     // we are connected to there
+	TargetSuspended                     // not currently attempting to connect here
 )
 
 // Information about an address where we may find a peer
@@ -266,16 +267,23 @@ func (cm *ConnectionMaker) connectToTargets(validTarget map[string]struct{}, dir
 	now := time.Now() // make sure we catch items just added
 	after := MaxDuration
 	for address, target := range cm.targets {
-		if target.state != TargetWaiting {
+		if target.state != TargetWaiting && target.state != TargetSuspended {
 			continue
 		}
 		if _, valid := validTarget[address]; !valid {
-			delete(cm.targets, address)
+			// Not valid: suspend reconnects if direct peer,
+			// otherwise forget this target entirely
+			if _, direct := directTarget[address]; direct {
+				target.state = TargetSuspended
+			} else {
+				delete(cm.targets, address)
+			}
 			continue
 		}
 		if target.tryAfter.IsZero() {
 			continue
 		}
+		target.state = TargetWaiting
 		switch duration := target.tryAfter.Sub(now); {
 		case duration <= 0:
 			target.state = TargetAttempting
diff --git a/mesh/status.go b/mesh/status.go
index 559dae66..6b8ad81b 100644
--- a/mesh/status.go
+++ b/mesh/status.go
@@ -181,6 +181,7 @@ func NewLocalConnectionStatusSlice(cm *ConnectionMaker) []LocalConnectionStatus
 					add("retrying", target.lastError.Error())
 				}
 			case TargetConnected:
+			case TargetSuspended:
 			}
 		}
 		resultChan <- slice